The Movies-To-Watch List: Fast & Furious (2009)

Ok I watched it.
Fine, here’s more. The original Movies To Watch List was put together to fulfill multiple goals, one of which was to broaden my pop culture experiences. As when we watched the Harry Potter, there are things that are entering (or have entered) the lexicon and keeping at least half an eye on them. The “Fast and Furious” series is one of those things, and some folks I know adored them, so I checked out one.

This is actually the fourth movie in the series, but it’s a sort of reboot with the original cast. I was assured that I would have no trouble following it, which was half true. There were certainly references to previous events, which I had to piece together, but it wasn’t like I was assembling a complex timepiece. In fact, the DVD Netflix sent us was badly worn and we had to skip chapter 10 altogether, which explained the final third of the movie and it was no problem.

It’s not that I disliked the movie, it’s just…well, it was pretty much exactly what I expected. The racing was pretty cool (though not as much of it as I’d imagined) and exciting, especially since the movie takes place in a utopian parallel Los Angeles where there are no cops other than FBI, who are solely interested in drug trafficking.

Whenever there wasn’t racing on the screen the movie struggled to hold interest. None of the characters are interesting, none of the things they do are interesting, none of the reasons they’re racing are interesting. Absolutely nothing is gained from watching the non-racing portions. There isn’t even nudity. I imagine that website which tells you when it’s okay to go pee in a movie just says, “if someone is talking” for this movie.

I’m not a movie snob. I like plenty of dumb junk. But this? I was about ready to clock out only 17 minutes in. Boo to this. Boo to Fast and Furious.

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