Becky and I are still watching Lost on ABC and enjoying it. However, I think we (and many of our friends) have been burned so many times by shows with big overarching mystery plots that turned out to be goofy fizzles that we’re hesitant to give the show any more thought than an hour on Wednesday night while watching it. I’ve watched The X-Files. I’ve read comic books. I know the heartbreak of investing more thought into something than the creators did.
And to be honest, some recent developments on the show have me concerned. (Spoilers, I guess, follow.) The whole Apocalypse Baby thing wore out my eyes from all the rolling. I should have seen it coming on a show with fantastic elements. Foolishly, I assumed Claire’s pregnancy was a “problem” just because it’s a baby on a desert island and nobody anywhere ever has ever given birth anywhere outside a modern hospital successfully. Obviously, though, the child is either the Antichrist or the Messiah. Because what else are babies on TV good for, if you don’t have poop or breastfeeding jokes?
We all know I’m not a huge TV fan. I am totally ready to jump ship the second I discern I’m in for another Chris Carter hoodwinking. I am fully aware that “Trust [the creator]” is simply fanspeak for “Dear God this show is sucking and I fear my whole life is a lie.”
Nevertheless, this didn’t stop Dan and I from having the following conversation this morning. Some spoilers from the last episode are in it, and I cleaned up the spelling and punctuation so we aren’t revealed as the inarticulate fools we are.
(09:53:48) Dan: So what was your guess on the end?
(09:54:12) Dave: On the end?
(09:54:18) Dan: Of Lost.
(09:54:28) Dave: Yeah, but I don’t remember what was at the end.
(09:54:48) Dan: Are you having a senior moment?
(09:54:56) Dave: No
(09:55:13) Dave: Last thing I remember was Charlie saying he didn’t remember anything.
(09:55:38) Dan: Then they show Boone and Locke.
(09:55:53) Dave: Oh, finding the metal thing.
(09:55:57) Dan: Yeah
(09:56:04) Dan: Fallout shelter?
(09:56:06) Dan: UFO?
(09:56:11) Dan: Secret lab?
(09:56:25) Dave: I dunno, I figured it was part of a different crashed plane.
(09:56:45) Dan: I think it’s a large toaster.
(09:56:50) Dan: I love toast.
(09:56:56) Dave: It’s a battlemech.
(09:58:38) Dave: We’ll meet a survivor we haven’t seen before: Sakura, a Japanese school girl who’s always falling down and showing her panties.
(09:58:52) Dave: She’ll pilot the mech against the French woman’s mech.
(09:59:07) Dave: Which is what the ‘monster’ is.
(09:59:26) Dave: It shoots polar bears as missiles.
(09:59:39) Dan: That would make it the best show ever!
(09:59:43) Dan: I love panties.
(09:59:49) Dan: Almost as much as toast.
(10:00:29) Dave: Sakura’s mech has the “flying Jack’s dad” attack in which a giant Jack’s dad shoots out and yells at the enemy until it’s too drunk to continue and then cries like a baby.
(10:00:53) Dan: lol
(10:00:57) Dave: This confuses the enemy and sets them up for the Sayid Fist of Allah attack.
(10:01:45) Dave: Then they put aside their differences to join forces to fight Gamera.
(10:01:49) Dave: End of season 1.
(10:02:02) Dan: Gamera would kick their asses.
(10:02:45) Dave: Which is why they need to find the Sleestaks.
(10:02:54) Dave: They have the key to defeating Gamera.
(10:03:48) Dave: But they can’t help until the survivors free them from their alien overlords, the Cylons.
(10:03:52) Dave: This show rules!