Actually, he hasn’t, but I wanted to do something to help celebrate National Feel Oh-So-Superior to Star Wars Fans Day, even if it was belated.
I didn’t and won’t buy the DVDs, as I have my bootlegs DVDs of the original versions. But I certainly did enjoy everyone from CNN to people writing blogs about X-Men comic books telling me I should get a life and not take things so seriously. I love the smell of irony in the morning.
So for these people, I’ll help them out by being the straw man Star Wars fan that they enjoy proving themselves to be better than.
Ahem. GEORGE LUCAS IS A TRAITOR! I used to think he was a genius filmmaker but now I see he’s just a treasonous viper! He OWES it to his fans to make the exact movie they demand! How dare he make changes to the sacred cornerstone of my childhood, which must never be touched by human hands! I’ve half a mind to get rid of my basement filled with three copies of every Star Wars toy ever released (unopened and sealed in protective cases) in protest! Because of this travesty, I’m only going to buy TWO copies of the DVD trilogy! I will buy the third copy when Mr. Lucas ceases to be unreasonable and caves to my demands! Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go get in line for Episode III. Also, I think The Force is a real religion and a deep concept!