Dave Finally Watches: The Social Network

Season four of Arrested Development plays with George Michael developing The Next Big Internet Thing, a joke which mostly relies on actor Michael Cera’s (no longer particularly close) resemblance to Jesse Eisenberg. After the George Michael episode, in which we figured there were probably a lot of references to this movie, we watched the movie, which Becky had gotten from the library.

The Social Network was something we both kind of felt like we were supposed to have seen, even though neither one of us was that interested. A movie about Facebook written by Aaron Sorkin isn’t something I’m going to make special time for. But we were a little curious and it got really good reviews, so we gave it a whirl.

Look, I don’t need every movie I see to be the Adventures of the Happiest Puppy in the Candy Parade, but good grief I’d like someone on the screen to not be an asshole, and I don’t mean “less of an asshole than the others.” As in There Will Be Blood, the main character’s arc of development curves very gently from “dick” to “yep, still a dick”. At the end we find out he became the youngest billionaire in the world but oh no, he didn’t get the girl and he lost his friend. Poor youngest billionaire! Maybe that will teach you to be a better person next time!

I didn’t really want to talk about this on here, partly because of the “he hates everything” thing but also because I felt that doing so was watering an ugly, ugly flower. I didn’t see the point in this movie. It’s well shot, I guess, and has good performances and stuff, but to what end? What do we walk away with here? What’s the story needing to be told? From a non-fiction point of view, I think most people already knew Mark Zuckerberg wasn’t a heck of a guy and in ten years (if that) nobody will even be thinking about Facebook. From a fictional point of view, why should I give a second of thought about these horrible people and their petty bullshit? I have to deal with assholes every day; why should I carve out two hours of time to watch the adventures of some really carefully crafted ones?

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