Wow, nothing gets the terrorists motivated like bad news for the Bush campaign. Just as we’re starting to find out that our entire foreign policy, such as it is, for the past two years was being determined by some guy in Iraq who was probably an Iranian spy…

(Let that sink in, folks. An Iranian Spy got us to send troops to Iraq to get killed. Wrap your mind around that one.)

…it turns out we’ve got all kinds of reports of a major terror attack this summer! These reports are so urgent, news outlets have no choice but to push that unpleasant Ahmad Chalabi and Abu Ghraib news off the front page!

It’s unclear from the article whether these terrorist attacks will be threatening enough to raise the terror level to Red, in which case we have martial law and no one is allowed outside their homes (to vote, for example), or whether they’ll be grave enough to suspend the Constitution. I mean, we already know that Bush has conspired with Saudi Arabia to illegally manipulate gas prices so that gas is cheap on Election Day, so is it really loony to consider other depths to which his team might sink?

No word yet on how Iran is going to have us respond to these threats.