This Used to Be the Future: War Lords of the Moon

Welcome to the exciting world of The Future! I’m your host, Dave Lartigue, and I’ll be taking you on an exciting and educational journey into the time to come! Sit back, pull up a cosmo chair, pour a space drink, and enjoy!

Normally this material comes from the beloved 1950s and 1960s, otherwise known as the Silver Age of Comics, otherwise known as The Only Age of Comics You Really Need, but today I’m venturing out of that era to go a decade earlier for the adventures of Spurt Hammond, Planet Flyer!

Yes. Spurt Hammond.

As the caption box says, there’s trouble brewing in the “polor” region of the Moon, where the beautiful but deadly Lunerzons are wreaking havoc on the “interplaetary” space lanes. One of their victims is ace pilot Spurt Hammond. The Lunerzons intercept his mighty thrusting rocket and force him to expel his cargo ahead of schedule. Spurt isn’t happy about this, and makes his feelings known.

The Lunerzons shrug off Spurt’s manly slapping and leave him abandoned on an asteroid, but fortunately for Spurt they’re not too clear on the concept of “abandoned” because they also leave him a spaceship behind. He follows them to their base, where he’s captured and brought before their leader. She opts to let him wander freely around the Moon, but advises him to be careful, as men aren’t very popular around there.

Spurt, far from being a prisoner, is given a guided tour of the place. He sees how men are enslaved and forced to work in the bomb factories. He’s also shown the “Mooniacs”:

During his wanderings, he overhears the Lunerzons’ plan to take over Earth. They’re going to load up Mooniacs with bombs and then drop them on Earth! That’s the plan, giving bombs to crazy dumb guys. It’s not going to be easy to shut this down, what with completely unfettered access to all areas in the enemy stronghold, but Spurt comes up with a plan.

He waits until one of the bomb-laden Mooniacs happens to be walking by the edge of the cliff that overlooks the munitions plant. Then…

He overpowers the Mooniac and hurls it into the factory, blowing the entire place to smithereens, along with countless enslaved men. He then battles his way through more Mooniacs until he reaches the radio room.

Having been bested by Spurt, the Lunerzons take the only sensible course of action.

They get into a big cat-fight over Spurt, giving him the opportunity to escape in his rocket, even though nobody seemed interested in stopping him before. As he leaves the Moon, he sees the Earth Commission arrive. “They’ll establish a peaceful government once and for all!” Spurt ejac — er, exclaims.

Laugh all you want, but Spurt Hammond was in twelve issues of Planet Comics, so he had that going for him. I’ll see if I can dig up the others so you can have even more Spurt Hammond!

In the meantime:

KISSABLE SPURT HAMMOND PIN-UP

“The War Lords of the Moon”
Planet Comics #1 (Fiction House, January 1940)
Writer: Unknown
Penciler: Henry Kiefer
Inker: Henry Kiefer
Editor: Unknown, but the indicia says Will Eisner
Table of Contents

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