The Walls of Heartache Never Saw It Coming

(The following is a series of tweets from Friday morning.)

I was inexplicably awake at 5am and you get to benefit from what went through my idiot head then, this is your chance to unfollow

Shooting at the walls of heartache, bang bang! I am a threat to those in my immediate vicinity

Shooting at the walls of ecological irresponsibility, bang bang! I am the Rainbow Warrior

(I have like a million of these)

Shooting at the walls of heartache, “Bang! Bang!” I am The Joker

Shooting at the walls of secular humanism, bang bang! I am the culture warrior

Shooting at the floors of heartache, bang bang! I am not well trained in the use of these weapons

Shooting at the walls of heartache, click click! I am out of ammo

Shooting at the source of heartburn, bang bang! I am Prilosec OTC

Shooting at the walls of heartache, bang bang! I am wishing I was listening to “Goodbye To You” instead

Shooting at the halls of wartache, bang bang! I am Reverend Spooner

Throwing a chakram at the walls of heartache, Chak ram! I am Xena, Warrior Princess

Shooting at the walls of time-valued functions, bang bang! I am a Fourier

Writing about Chitty Chitty, bang bang! I am Ian Fleming, believe it or not

okay I think I’m done for now

oh wait one more

Shooting at the walls of heartache, clang clang! I am apparently on the trolley

Shooting at the walls of heartache, bang bang! I’m the NRA and I vote

okay this next one is really pushing it

Shooting at the walls of sugar, bang bang! I am really doing a number on Sheena Easton

to think there are people who believe Twitter is stupid and pointless

(later that day) Shooting at the walls of horror, bang bang! I am Fangoria

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