This Used to Be the Future: Sirens of Space!

Welcome to the exciting world of The Future! I’m your host, Dave Lartigue, and I’ll be taking you on an exciting and educational journey into the time to come! Sit back, pull up a cosmo chair, pour a space drink, and enjoy!

Time for me to squeeze some more content out of that Wally Wood book I got recently! Today’s story is one of the adventures of Kenton of the Star Patrol, as documented by Wood in Strange Worlds. Let’s take a look at the cover he did:

Oh yeah, that’s the stuff.

On with the story! The luxury space-liner “President” is flying through the cosmos when suddenly:

The space bubble women begin singing, which causes everyone on board to begin writhing in agony.

In no time the President is conquered by the “tall and lovely” Lura, Queen of the Space Sirens. Who are they? What do they want? How can they be stopped?

These are the questions that dog “girl reporter” Maeve Malloy, who sets off in another space liner to try and find the answers. But don’t let the “girl reporter” thing fool you into thinking she’s just some eye candy here to provide cheap sexiness before our male hero enters the scene. From her first panel, she’s working the case:

Soon her ship is similarly attacked. Fortunately, she has a jewel which vibrates in “sympathetic conjunction” with one carried by Dave Kenton of the Star Patrol, allowing her to contact him! She dials up our hero, who is luckily able to leave the current bit of Star Patrol business he’s on to come help her.

He hops on board his spaceship, which is undergoing repairs, but can still fly. It’s a rattling, clunking nightmare, though, so he jams some cotton in his ears to drown out the noise. His ears are still plugged when the space sirens show up in their bubbles. Kenton’s spared their agonizing song, but he then brings them on board (“better get ’em in here before they freeze to death”) and takes the cotton out. He discovers, first-hand, that their trick is to take a normal song and amplify and distort it to above 230 decibels, which is what brings their victims to their knees.

He’s captured and brought to Mimas, a moon of Jupiter that the ladies use for a hide-out.

Kenton discovers that the prisoners taken in the sirens’ raids — including Maeve — are kept cryogenically frozen, a fate in store for him. He’s brought to the freezing chamber, where his body “begins to stiffen”. How will he survive the “sub-space temperatures”? Luckily the room is filled with electric cables. He strips the insulation off some of the wires and:

Look, we never said Kenton was the best the Star Patrol had to offer, just that he was a member.

This does the trick! Now, free to roam the base, Kenton looks all around for a way to stop these ladies. He can’t find a gun or a knife or a heavy blunt object to use against them, but he does find some lactic acid! He pours it into the drinking water supply for their spaceship, then flies away in his own, confident that the threat has been neutralized.

Days later, the sirens attack yet another liner, but then Kenton shows up again! He muscles on board the sirens’ ship and easily defeats them! How?

He made them all sleepy-tired! The sirens are captured and their fort is raided. The prisoners are rescued and thawed out. Maeve goes off to “telespace” her story to The Chronicle and Kenton rushes off to his next Star Patrol assignment.

“Sirens of Space!”
Strange Worlds #5 (Avon, November 1951)
Writer: Unknown
Penciler: Wally Wood
Inker: Wally Wood
Editor: Sol Cohen
Table of Contents

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