The CIA is Shooting My House With Evil Brain Rays

Yesterday I ran an errand at lunch, picked up some cardboard boxes at the hospital for packing and brought them home. I then returned to work, but decided to grab some lunch while I was out. I had a hankering for Taco Bell, so I pulled in there. There was a loooooong drive-through line, so I parked and went in. The woman behind the counter asked what my order was. I looked up at the menu board…

…and realized I was in Dairy Queen. Somehow I had ended up in DQ instead of Taco Bell. I had no idea how this happened. Then I realized I don’t ever get lunch at DQ, so I had no idea what to buy. I only know how to order Blizzards there! I ended up with a bacon cheeseburger and a confused expression on my face.

The night before, our friends John and April had been helping us do some last-minute packing. John and I were in the garage, and he asked what I was going to do with the canister of gas for the lawnmower that was nearly full. I told him we couldn’t move it, so we’d probably give it away. He said, “Why not put it in the car?” I replied that we didn’t want to drive 18 hours with a canister of gas in the car. He said, “No, put the gas in the gas tank,” and the light dawned on me. All the college degrees Becky and I have, and neither of us had thought of that. I promptly dumped the gas into the car.

On top of these events, Beebo has been freaking out. He stares into space and his eyes dart around the way he does whenever there’s a fly in the house. And yet, there’s nothing there. He chomps at something in the air, the way he does when he’s trying to catch a fly in the house, and yet there’s nothing there. Last night he was in bed, under the covers, doing his chomping thing. We’re almost certain there are no flying insects underneath the covers in our bed.

Clearly whatever is happening is happening to all of us. Beebo, with his smaller body, is experiencing the effects to a larger extent, to the point of visual and auditory hallucinations.

The only thing I can conclude is that some kind of brain rays are being beamed at our house. And who has access to brain rays other than the CIA?

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