Synnibarr Sunday: If You’re Thinking of Comitting a Crime, Be Sure You Can Go 706 MPH

Terra is a city the size of urban Seattle, Washington, “set under a blanket of three diamond bubbles” (I don’t know what this means) beneath the crystal-clear waters of Lake Diamondblood.

The city is protected by guards, spell, a Werestorm, and The Eye, a satellite in geosynchronous orbit above the city that can report on trouble through “a special process called masers” that requires five alchemists. The Terra police (who can be reached by dialing 999) can see crimes in advance via precognition and also each get a black Lamborghini-style antigravity squad car that can travel up to 705 mph.

Terra is pretty much THE place to be for adventurers, and there are plenty of shops that cater to them. Pretty much every type of profession has a guild here, and the Ninja Guild is run by Blade, a 6th-level God of Heavy Metal, Cragons, and Martial Arts. Other businesses of interest:

Clothing Plus is run by Thumbnail and her husband, Roger. They create space suits for interdimensional travelers.

The Antiroom Tavern is run by a guy named Brothel. There is no actual brothel identified on the map.

At Personal Aviation you can buy conventional aircraft, thruster belts, or VTOL craft.

Pets R Us specializes in talking pitbull terriers that cost $500.

The Crossed Guitars Hotel and Resort has over 1,250 suites of pure comfort. The owner is Cosmoreef Coralstar Quasarbreaker.

To buy poisons from Tonto at the Poison Shop, you must have a valid ID.

Lockpicks Etcetera is run by Cat, a 16th level God of Thieves and Assassins, who always gives back everything he steals.

The owner of the Map Shop is Tomarr, who is “a 50th-level something. No one knows.” (Emphasis theirs.)

At the Boot Shop you can buy boots made by Boot, a 50th-level Psielf.

Remember the mutations from last week? You can buy one from Himeale at the Genetic Engineer shop. Lesser mutations cost $50 million to $100 million. I assume “Hemophiliac” is towards the lower end of the cost range.

An “Asian human” (despite there being no Asia) runs Oohlongsbongfunk, a pipe and tobacco shop. Terra may not have a brothel, but it’s got a head shop.

The Bank of Terra will hang on to your money but they give no interest, which makes one wonder what exactly their business is.

Despite there being a Robot Shop down the street, if you want to make a copy of something at the Terra Library and Museum, a scribe does it by hand.

Preparations, Inc. is a shop run by Geno and Thea, who “have been to 42 different planets in 12 different dimensions, including Shalom, Tarn, and Caltoose.”

Cragwarren, the shop owner of Shadows, can be reached on message phone 0-7113.

Location 25 — and only location 25 — on the map of Terra is labeled “Storage”.

Unless specified otherwise, all references are to The World of Synnibarr, second edition, by Raven c.s. McCracken and Bryce Thelin, copyright 1993 and published by Wonderworld Press.

This post is not intended to foster any belief in the occult.

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4 Responses to Synnibarr Sunday: If You’re Thinking of Comitting a Crime, Be Sure You Can Go 706 MPH

  1. Ken Lowery says:

    I swear to God, Dave, if it wasn’t for the Wikipedia link at the bottom of each of these entries, I’d swear you were making them up.

  2. arcadian says:

    Ya know, I keep trying to develop stuff for my EC site, and then I come here every Sunday and feel totally defeated by the awesomeness that is Synnibarr.

  3. Dave says:

    arcadian: I am TOTALLY swiping your Caption Contest idea!

  4. Pingback: Dave Ex Machina – A Thousand Points of Articulation » Synnibarr Sunday: And Also the God of Camaros, I’m Guessing