Black Friday Fun!

Today I continued last year’s antics of posting fake Black Friday specials on Twitter!

Bob’s Beer and Bait has 2-for-1 on worms!

Today only, FYE is selling DVDs and CDs for reasonable prices (limit 2).

Best Buy is offering Xbox 360s for $50, but only to people with moustaches.

Hits to the head with a shovel are only $3 at Wal-Mart.

Boeing has a web-only #blackfriday offer. Buy a 747-8F at regular price, get a 737-700C for half off!

Fry’s has Blu-Ray players for $1500 because hey, people are just buying whatever they see, so what the hell!

New Beginnings Mental Health Center is offering 7 Shopping Addiction counseling sessions for the price of 5!

K-Mart has them robot hamster things for 10% off but first you have to do a little dance to prove you really want one.

CVS has Snickers bars for ten cents off (limit 4).

Senses of Self-Worth and Human Decency are now sold out at Wal-Mart.

Barnes and Noble: Buy Sarah Palin’s ‘Going Rogue’, get voucher for FREE copy of her next book, ‘Kiss My Ass, Sanity!’

Further Sarah Palin deals: 60% off ‘Going Rogue’ at Amazon.com by banging MEWANTBOOK with fists as coupon code.

Jumpy Pete is offering 20% off crack, 30% off heroin.

For today only Mr. PETER ATTAH of Nigeria will only need $150 to transfer $15 MILLION to your account, instead of usual $200.

Note: Coffee makers at Target were accidentally priced too low. Visit target.com to find out where to mail your additional $2.

Today only, Apple Stores are allowing non-Apple owners to breathe rarified air of their shops, limit 3 minutes.

Today only: Vietnamese prostitute will love you 20% longer time, Joe.

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3 Responses to Black Friday Fun!

  1. MichaelD says:

    You couldn’t pay me enough money to get me into a store today.

  2. Carolyn says:

    Aw, God, Dave, I remembered you being this damn funny. I’m the only one awake and I’m sitting here laughing out loud. You just kill me!

  3. Carolyn says:

    Dave, isn’t there a way I can link to this from my facebook page? I don’t see any method of sharing through here. Help! It’s too good not to pass around! C