Bob’s Beer and Bait has 2-for-1 on worms!
Today only, FYE is selling DVDs and CDs for reasonable prices (limit 2).
Best Buy is offering Xbox 360s for $50, but only to people with moustaches.
Hits to the head with a shovel are only $3 at Wal-Mart.
Boeing has a web-only #blackfriday offer. Buy a 747-8F at regular price, get a 737-700C for half off!
Fry’s has Blu-Ray players for $1500 because hey, people are just buying whatever they see, so what the hell!
New Beginnings Mental Health Center is offering 7 Shopping Addiction counseling sessions for the price of 5!
K-Mart has them robot hamster things for 10% off but first you have to do a little dance to prove you really want one.
CVS has Snickers bars for ten cents off (limit 4).
Senses of Self-Worth and Human Decency are now sold out at Wal-Mart.
Barnes and Noble: Buy Sarah Palin’s ‘Going Rogue’, get voucher for FREE copy of her next book, ‘Kiss My Ass, Sanity!’
Further Sarah Palin deals: 60% off ‘Going Rogue’ at Amazon.com by banging MEWANTBOOK with fists as coupon code.
Jumpy Pete is offering 20% off crack, 30% off heroin.
For today only Mr. PETER ATTAH of Nigeria will only need $150 to transfer $15 MILLION to your account, instead of usual $200.
Note: Coffee makers at Target were accidentally priced too low. Visit target.com to find out where to mail your additional $2.
Today only, Apple Stores are allowing non-Apple owners to breathe rarified air of their shops, limit 3 minutes.
Today only: Vietnamese prostitute will love you 20% longer time, Joe.