The Truth About Mike Sterling: REVEALED

FACT: Mike Sterling is the owner and proprietor of Mike Sterling’s Progressive Ruin.

FACT: Mike Sterling is 40 years old today, exactly the same age that Richard Nixon was on HIS 40th birthday.

FACT: Mike Sterling is from California, as was Richard Nixon.

FACT: Mike Sterling and Richard Nixon both had significant others named either Nora or Pat.

FACT: Mike Sterling is the manager of Ralph’s Comic Corner. Richard Nixon also enjoyed comic books, especially those about Smurfs:

FACT: This is a photo of Mike Sterling hanging out with one of his best friends:

FACT: Both men have done deplorable actions. One of them bombed Cambodia:

and one sold POGs:

FACT: Mike Sterling’s favorite comic book character is Swamp Thing, as seen in this famous photo:

CONCLUSION: Mike Sterling (seen below boarding an airplane) is actually Richard Nixon in an ill-fitting full-head mask.

The evidence speaks for itself. Happy birthday, “Mike Sterling”.

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