FACT: Mike Sterling is the owner and proprietor of Mike Sterling’s Progressive Ruin.
FACT: Mike Sterling is 40 years old today, exactly the same age that Richard Nixon was on HIS 40th birthday.
FACT: Mike Sterling is from California, as was Richard Nixon.
FACT: Mike Sterling and Richard Nixon both had significant others named either Nora or Pat.
FACT: Mike Sterling is the manager of Ralph’s Comic Corner. Richard Nixon also enjoyed comic books, especially those about Smurfs:
FACT: This is a photo of Mike Sterling hanging out with one of his best friends:
FACT: Both men have done deplorable actions. One of them bombed Cambodia:
and one sold POGs:
FACT: Mike Sterling’s favorite comic book character is Swamp Thing, as seen in this famous photo:
CONCLUSION: Mike Sterling (seen below boarding an airplane) is actually Richard Nixon in an ill-fitting full-head mask.
The evidence speaks for itself. Happy birthday, “Mike Sterling”.