Confidential to DWF

We’ve been friends for a long time now — man, it must be over 20 years! — so you should be used to me talking frankly to you. And I’m going to talk about R.

I’m not going to lie: she was a hell of a woman. It is completely understandable that you’d continue to be hung up on her even now, two years after she left. I’ve watched your relationships since then, all doomed from the start. No woman, it seems, can measure up to the high standards set by R in your mind. I’ve seen it time and again, and I feel I must say something.

You are absolutely right. People never quite get over their first love, and in your case there’s good reason. She really was the pinnacle of perfection and there’s no way you’ll ever do better. I honestly don’t know why you even try. Instead of wasting your time on others who can’t possibly hold a candle to R, you should instead be doing whatever you can to show your devotion to her in the hopes that she’ll come back to you. Other friends might tell you to remove her photo from the nightstand while you’re dating others, to not talk about her all the time while on dates, and to not do double-takes and stare whenever someone who looks something like her catches your eye, but I think that’s poor advice. How will you ever find her if you stop looking specifically for her, and how will you ever get exactly her back if you’re not looking specifically for her? Would you really be satisfied with anyone else? I don’t think so. How could you?

So that’s my advice, DWF. You’ve started seeing this new woman, I hear, and some might say there’s some potential there, but they’re fools. Drop her like a hot stone and go back to pursuing R. She was your one glorious moment in life and you’d be stupid to waste time with anyone else if there’s even the remotest chance of getting her back.

Seriously, dude. Nothing will be right until you have R again.

Good luck!

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3 Responses to Confidential to DWF

  1. Lanf says:

    This is about the Republicans and Ronald Reagan, right?

  2. BillJ says:

    I think it’s rtd you need to be talking to, not dwf. As a long-time veteran of dwf I’m as exasperated by all this as you are.

  3. Tom Foss says:


    Paging Mary Sue…