SCENE: A bookstore. WOMAN is browsing the shelves. She takes a book down and starts looking at the back cover. MAN peeks around a shelf, sees her looking at the book, and approaches her. He is holding three books under one arm.)
MAN: Oh, you shouldn’t get that.
MAN: It’s not very good.
WOMAN: Oh. Uhh, ok.
(MAN pulls a book off the shelf.)
MAN: This is better.
(WOMAN reluctantly takes the book from him and examines it.)
MAN: It’s a much better book. I really recommend it instead.
WOMAN: Thanks. Uh…I’ll think about it.
MAN: I’m getting these. (Shows her the books under his arm.)
WOMAN: I see. Look, I just…
(MAN reaches into his shirt pocket and pulls out a folded up piece of paper, which he offers to her.)
MAN: Here are other books I’ve read and how I feel about them, if you want to see.
WOMAN: That’s not…I appreciate the help, but…
(MAN puts books down and unfolds the paper.)
MAN: I love this one right here. See? Four stars. I have a picture of me reading it, if you’d like to see that. (He reaches for a pocket.)
WOMAN: Hey, I have to go. (She starts walking off.)
MAN (after her): If you want I can call or email you every time I buy a book and let you know what it is! Hey, want to know my top ten Agatha Christie books?
(WOMAN runs off stage.)
MAN (quieter): Can I tell you what I want for Christmas?
(CLERK approaches a few seconds later from offstage.)
CLERK: Sir, we’ve talked about this. I’m afraid you have to leave.
MAN: What? I’m trying to be helpful! Trying to build a sense of community!
CLERK: Sir, you’re upsetting the customers. I’m sorry, but you have to leave.
MAN: I don’t understand. Amazon LOVES it when I do this.