Well, we finally got the “big snow” they’ve been talking about ever since winter started. It started Friday morning and I got to end the work week the way everyone dreams of doing it: going outside to shovel snow. By the time we finished it was coming down harder, and within a couple of hours all our work was rendered null and void. (Note: this did not stop us going out in it anyway to buy beer.)

It continued through the evening with a pleasant mix of snow and sleet, so that on Saturday morning we had several compacted inches covering everything. And not the light, fluffy stuff, no sir, this stuff was wet and dense and heavy. Our backs are killing us this morning and my heart exploded and I am now dead.

We have two shovels. A plastic one that needs replacing because the end is wearing down, and that metal one above. The metal one is very handy in some limited situations; any other time it sucks rocks. The end gets caught on the slightest variance in the ground surface, the snow sticks to it, and the back end is all bended up from someone (possibly me) trying to get it past whatever millimeter-sized obstruction is holding it back with his foot. We’ll need to have a shovel-replacing soon.

One contender is the swanky ergonomic model I see a lot of people using. I’ve never used one so I don’t know exactly how the bend in the handle works to alleviate back pain. I guess it makes you have to bend less when picking up the snow-laden end. I’m not sure that would have helped yesterday, since the stuff was so damn heavy.

Alternatively there’s the Rolls Royce of shovels, the Whovel (which appears to now be called the Wovel — I guess they got tired of people wanting information about the “hoo-vul”). I have to say I’m intrigued by this…Becky and I once spent far more time than we should have watching an infomercial about it. But it costs $125. If you have trouble picturing $125, imagine three or four good boardgames stacked on top of each other.

Plus, once you’re dropping $125 on your snow-removal solution, you may as well go all out…

The great irony is that the forecast for the week has the temperatures going up into the 50s and 60s. It’s all going to melt anyway.

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4 Responses to Ha! So Much for GLOBAL WARMING!

  1. Lanf says:

    Tell me about the aching back. I had to go into work on Saturday, so I really had no choice about digging out. I left this poem on my whiteboard:

    Goddamn snow
    Goddamn snow
    Goddamn snow
    Ow! My back.

    Some of my best literary work, really.

  2. Mrs. Mancer says:

    Indeed, your poem is the “Western Wind” of the 21st century.

  3. Charlie says:

    hrrrmmmm…..would one get summarily executed for mentioning that it’s sunny, warm and perfect weather for shorts down here? If so I won’t mention it :)

  4. esthela says:

    I used to LOVE to shovel snow. My first year in DC, I thought it was like the best instant gratification. You push a line of snow and you get a clean black line of asphalt in return, I found this so incredibly relaxing. Now, I fucking hate. Especially if it’s the heavy wet sloppy kind. Snow is useless and evil.