Apparently Our Iraq Strategy Now Involves Two Short Hairy Men and a Ring

Embattled U.S. Sen. Rick Santorum said America has avoided a second terrorist attack for five years because the “Eye of Mordor” has been drawn to Iraq instead.

Santorum used the analogy from one of his favorite books, J.R.R. Tolkien’s 1950s fantasy classic “Lord of the Rings,” to put an increasingly unpopular war in Iraq into terms any school kid could easily understand.

“As the hobbits are going up Mount Doom, the Eye of Mordor is being drawn somewhere else,” Santorum said, describing the tool the evil Lord Sauron used in search of the magical ring that would consolidate his power over Middle-earth.

“It’s being drawn to Iraq and it’s not being drawn to the U.S.,” Santorum continued. “You know what? I want to keep it on Iraq. I don’t want the Eye to come back here to the United States.”

Santorum defends Iraq war

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4 Responses to Apparently Our Iraq Strategy Now Involves Two Short Hairy Men and a Ring

  1. David Thiel says:

    I thought that this was an Onion parody until I clicked the link. FWIW, I actually agree with his take on Kim Jong Il.

  2. Kurt says:

    I guess my largest problem with the “we want to keep the war over ‘there’ so it doesn’t come over ‘here'” is that the implication is that it’s ok that around a million Iraqis and Afghanis have died. Their lives are worth less than ours. It’s ok to sacrafice whole countries to make sure our ‘way of life’ isn’t interrupted. And that, I can’t buy into.

  3. Rob Barrett says:

    We are talking about a man whose name has been successfully linked to anal secretions. Why are we surprised? :)

  4. David Thiel says:

    Beyond the absurdity of bringing Tolkien into the Iraq War debate, the “Eye of Mordor” analogy is even more negative than he realizes. In Lord of the Rings, drawing away the attention of the Eye of Mordor meant gathering virtually all the defending forces of Middle Earth and sending them to certain death in a horribly one-sided assault on the Black Gate. I doubt he intended to say that our soldiers are on a suicide mission.

    Furthermore, Aragorn and company had a purpose in drawing the Eye in their direction, and it wasn’t “so they wouldn’t have to fight the Orcs in Gondor.” It was to give the Ringbearer a fighting chance to destroy the Ring and defeat Sauron once and for all. In Santorum’s analogy, there’s no Ring. We’re not drawing away the terrorists’ attention because we’ve got a potential endgame, however slight, in sight.