Poetry Corner

This is a great parody poem. “An Apology”, by F.J. Bergmann. (found here)

Forgive me
for backing over
and smashing
your red wheelbarrow.

It was raining
and the rear wiper
does not work on
my new plum-colored SUV.

I am also sorry
about the white
chickens.

(Info on the work it parodies: William Carlos Williams)

My own parody of WCW, “William Carlos Williams Mows the Lawn”, is lost to the mists of time. It was originally posted on the Straight Dope Message Board back when I was a regular there.

For some reason, this reminds me of one of my favorite poems ever. In “Song of Myself“, Walt Whitman writes:

Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)

Years ago, when I was at LSU, I knew people who worked on Andrei Codrescu’s journal, Exquisite Corpse. They received a submission that I think is sheer genius, but I believe they declined to print it. I don’t remember. And I have no idea who wrote it, because I only heard about it second-hand. But here I resurrect it, because it’s too good to let fade away:

I Contain Multitudes
(Author Unknown)

And some of these fuckers
Have got to go.

What you’re feeling there is culture, friend, belting you in the chops.

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3 Responses to Poetry Corner

  1. Nigel says:

    Perhaps the greatest poem I’ve ever read.

  2. rone says:

    Someone on Usenet or a mailing list somewhere had in his .sig something very close to, “Do I contradict myself? Very well, then, I contradict myself– No, wait, i don’t!”

  3. Your wonderful father says:

    When I ws at LSU my friend Darrell Eiland wrote the following for THE REVILIE:
    Had Madam Curie taught at LSU
    She would never have discovered radium.
    They would have set her at a drawing board
    And made her plan a stadium. AND it’s still true today!