My Dinner With Ebay

Man, I haven’t done eBay auctions in a long time. Let me tell you about my first time.

Back in high school, this friend of mine gave me a bunch of Pez dispensers. I hung onto them and moved them from New Orleans to Baton Rouge to Illinois, from apartment to apartment to house, and so on. Finally, Becky said, “Why do we keep moving these? They’re not doing anything except collecting dust.” Which was true. So I decided, what the hell, maybe someone on eBay (which, if I remember correctly, was originally just for Pez dispensers.) will want them. Understatement.

Turns out I had some pretty damn rare dispensers there, including a bunch that were only sold in 1976, for the American Bicentennial. All told, I ended up making almost three grand on Pez dispensers. I’ve not done nearly as well since.

It used to be fun to watch your auctions develop, but not anymore. Nowadays everyone waits until the last five minutes to bid on anything. But they don’t wait to ask all kinds of questions!

For those of you who might be buying things off eBay, here’s some advice: read the auction before asking questions of the seller. I can’t tell you how many questions I’ve gotten in which the answer is clearly obvious from the photos of the items, the description of the items, or the description of the auction. I provide the weight of the package and my zip code so people can calculate postage for themselves, but of course it’s easier just to ask me how much it would cost to ship an item “to Canada” (since “Canada” is such a small place consisting of a single postal code.)

I’m trying to come up with a good boilerplate text to put in my auctions to discourage such questions without discouraging bidding as well. Unfortunately this goes against the fact that the target audience on eBay is people with more money than sense.

I shouldn’t complain, though, if people want to give me money for things I don’t want anymore. Though I can’t believe no one is even watching this item:

I figured that one would be the real star of this round.

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One Response to My Dinner With Ebay

  1. esthela says:

    You know, I HAVE one of your old pez dispensers and I didn’t even BUY it from you. Now I wonder how much it’s worth and where the hell I have it.